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I am taking this time to talk about my life situation meaning financial I want to give my kids the very best in life but sometimes is not good enough I tried harder to find my way so I can provide them with everything I dint have and is not because my parent dint give it to me is because the situation in Cuba was hard for them to even get a break there situation was so bad that my father had enough of the country that he decide to reopen his case and come to united stated of the America so he can provided at least good living for us and he did and I always love my father for that and for everything he done for me he could have choose to leave when he had that chance but he dint want to leave his family behind he could have been in a good situation if he choose to leave but he never want to be away from his family I was a born baby and my brother was like 1 or 2 years old so that the thing I love about my father and over the years he is been there for me so I want to be there for mine three kids no matter what I started taking class to get my cdl class a license cause I hear that truck drivers make good money and fast money even though they have to be separate from there family for long period of time but I think is worth it cause at the end the result is much better and I am going to be able to at least give my kids more than what I have done in the past and also I be able to have at least some relief financial hope everything goes according to plan and I be able to realize some of my goals

Dream I have last night

Last night I went to sleep like I usually do around 10:00 pm and since my mother pass away and is going to be two years in December I never dream about her I really cant explain why I always hear that when someone especial die the first thing that happened is that you either dream about it or see thing that make you believe that the person still there that the person was so close to you even know you don’t see it but is that gut feeling that is there so for the first time I dream about my mom I think also it took this long is because I was so sad because I dint get to say goodbye to her and also I was so piss at myself because that day before she die she ask me to buy her a pizza and I told her that I will get that for her the next day and I dint realize that the was not next day for me to see her when my father call me I was just got home from work and he say your mother die and when I went there and saw her that’s when I realize that you never leave thing for tomorrow cause you never know if some one you love is going to be there and even yourself never leave thing for the next day I was so sad that I never got to say her goodbye or even be there when that happened that every time I think about it I have that guilt inside me that I am taking it with me to my grave but them it happened I dream about her last night and I was talking to her and she look really good she was happy and no more pain and she even look different then when she was alive and she was telling me that god is really good that I should trust my faith in god that he never let us down and I told her that I miss her a lot every time at work when I friend of mine talk about her mother that she also pass away tears run down my face and she told me that she knows how much I love her and I told her that I was really sorry for not being able to give her the last thing she want and she say not to worry about that she also told me that she know how I am and that she love both of us including my father and that she hope to see us one day and be a family the way we were before and I told her that every time I see my son Matthew he remember me her cause I want it to give her one more grandson she want it a girl but it dint happened and I was so sad cause she never got to see him and she told me that she always see him and she watch over him and I think is true cause sometimes I see my son playing with someone and he look up to the ceiling of the house like he see something and them the alarm clock ring but this time I did get to say her goodbye I never believe that everything happened for a reason people say it all the time but I don’t think some one has to die to see the meaning of that word I know that she was in pain with her illness the cancer is one tough motherfucker but then again I know now that she is not suffering anymore and she is happy now and that something that make me happy   

Learning experience

I only been in love in my life two times I would not say be in love when you are in 7 grade is exactly be in love but I did really like that girl a lot but when you are immature you let opportunity pass by and once is over is over in my case I have a strong pride that sometimes gets over me and not allow me to think straight but I do really like the way I am and I would not change for anything in the world even if is my happiness however when people get more mature even know I always been a person that is very mature but I don’t always follow my heart for one reason or another the heart is the one that suffer and I don’t like that idea so that first love never got develop to a point of relation the second time around was when I discover the website call tagged I started searching and I found a beautiful Puerto  Rica women with everything that a man want I meet her and you know when is love a first sight from the moment of the first kiss when I kiss her I felt in love like I never felt before even to this date I still remember that kiss however we never put the relation to the next level for one reason or another I did and I do still love her till this date we still talk and I still make her mad every now and them but she really is something special that I never going to forgot and like everything in life you learn from experience and keep moving forward 

Topics that matters

I want to talk about what everyone is concert about and that is the way this country have gone from being the most powerful country in the world and don’t get me wrong still is but in the financial point of views of many this country is fallen like down the drained if they don’t do something about it and yea every body blame the president and all fingers point at him but I think he is doing a good job not an outstanding job but I blame also the people surrounding him and the inability to get this country back on track also I think whoever took the country when he was competing before he was elected the same thing would have happened cause not even the other candidate would have made any different when wall street collapse I am like most of the people hated to see the rich getting more rich but that was a move that has to be made in order to get the country moving again and I like everyone else that is not in the rich level hated to see the way they used the money instead of solving the problem they used the money for personal bullshit I have no problem help the government get this country back on track either way they always find the way to get there money back at expense of the tax payers however when the government don’t do anything about in regard of the rich using the money they give them to bail them out that’s when everyone has a problem I hope this country get back on track and those days when the gas price was only cents of the dollars I want those days to come back again and I hope in this next election who ever comes on top do what they say there going to do and put the people of the united states priorities first and run this country back to where they were before all this craziness start and everyone not be affect they way it is now with all those jobs lose