Another part of my life

I want to talk about relation and the real meaning of being with someone and been able to enjoy everything with this person not just the physical attraction but also you have to love everything about this person no matter what sometimes we end that with the wrong person and we say to our self how that happened and why but there stuff in life we can’t explain and sometimes is even out fault that we end that with someone else but even that you have to make it work cause if is that the person god put in our life we have to make it work even if we are unhappy for the rest of our lives knowing that we let an opportunity pass by and we dint even make the effort in trying but in our heart always be a place for that especial someone and even know that person is with someone else you get the feeling that if is not in this life maybe in the next you two will meet again and hopefully this time you wont make the same mistake   

Family experience

I love my family there is not denying that my mother rip she was the best mother anyone could have in every aspect she was caring, loving, she always tell us that no matter what situation we are in that we should tell her no matter what she always be there for us and I tried to be the same or even better for my kids but getting back to my family I do really miss my mother a lot she was always there for me giving me advice on everything even when I have my fist kid that was a moment where everything change for me cause when it was only me I dint care about many stuff cause I don’t need to worry about anyone but me but when you have your first kid it change your life completely it change how you think on every level cause is not about you anymore and she teach me that and I learn a lot from her and also I learn a lot from my father he also has been there for me even when he had a chance to came to this country when he was young and he rather stay with his family and he let the opportunity pass by and I really admire him for that however my mom die of cancer almost two years ago and my father went in to a state of sadness we all did however my mother always use to say that when she die she don’t want anyone to be sad in fact she want everyone to be happy dead is just another state in life that we all be going to go one way or another but when she die that was the most hard day in our life but I always listen to what my mother always tell me and I did and also I have a family now and I cant stay down cause they depend on me and I am not letting them down however was not the case for my father and brother at the time my father was not working cause he was taking care of my mom and my brother was not working either even know my mother was sick she was paying for everything in the house and that was not fair she even fight with my brother cause he was not working to tell you the true I think she had enough of them and she dint want to keep fighting anymore that what I think I could be wrong hope I am but then she die and then my brother get a job with my help like always they dint have a car to go to work and I lend then mine he got fired from his job cause he was starting to miss Mondays and they have enough of that to the place where they live the owner had enough of them paying the rent little by little and he decide not to rent the place anymore so me being the nice guy I take them in at my place and that was the biggest mistake I ever make cause they start to taking advantage of me being nice and because we are family my father knowing that I was the only one working and knowing that were I live I have to pay water he starting to wash dishes every day and even if is only one or two plates still washes I told him one time not do it regularly he dint take really well my brother dint want to get a job he only want to get the one that fired him cause he say that the supervisor want him back and I told him ok tried to get back to get it and days past weeks past even months and at the end was the same thing they dint want him there so I call an old friend and he went to apply at ups and when they call him and my father I was at work so I went to pick both up and my father came with a sorry ass excuse that he wasn’t feeling good and all of that so I take my brother there he was complaining also but he stay there I was two months of where I feel uncomfortable in my own place at the end I pay for there tickets so they can go to one of my brothers friend down in Arizona and I hope they not doing what they been doing at my house and I find out that my brother was using my phone and sending email to my father family in Cuba about how they were treated at my place and it was funny because they forgot to mention how they were doing and how they were kick out there place where they were renting but hey I did what I could I am glad they are far away so I don’t have to worry about them anymore and I can focus on my family more in time I will see them again so I can say what is on my mind this time around     

Diet Blog

Another day looking at my body and still not getting any result I think is to much stress or not concentrating enough to do it right can’t find my way can’t make good decision on healthy eating no matter what I do is not right I can’t seen to stay focus enough and is been more than a month without training and that not who I am I love training but somehow when I think about it that I am going to do I end that with a change of mind and when I start doing it I never finish is like something inside me don’t want me to succeed and I cant take it anymore is been a struggle from the moment I enter in this country and is mostly my fault for not staying on top of myself hopefully when all my problems are over and I don’t have to worry much I can put myself again as a priority and get back into shape and live a healthy life like I always been since I was little somehow I been writing the same thing for like 7 years and not changes since then and every time I say I am going to do something it never happened and I promise myself that before the year runs out I be at least a little lighter however is not happened so far but I think I know why is not happened cause I been hoping to much and I have not taking any action whatsoever is time for changes and this time it is for real I can live my life hoping thing will be better no more hoping and time for action from this day forward no more disappointments and no more hoping from this day forward I will change my life complete and start losing the weight and be more happier and more healthy before the new year arrived       

Another day in my life

I have to move to another place and I only got a week to do it if not they will come and evicted me and that can happened not at this point in my life I need to get my life back on track no matter what for now I be sleeping in the car till I gather money to rent me in another place is last month has been really hard on me no money no food for like a week stretching the little I have in order to go to work cause I cant afford to lose my job and can’t afford to lose my car either I know thing will get better in time sometimes we wish for thing when we see thing happened to us but the more we want thing quickly some times I takes time in order to develop in something better  hopefully for me it will I never been in this situation before but I will learn from mistake and be more caution next time and how I spend my money so I don’t have to worry about anymore some people will say god is forgot about them but no me I am mad at god for one thing for taking my mother to early and is going to be almost two year since she pass away and I learn to understand why he make those call and also now I know that my mother is in a good place with no pain whatsoever and that she is happy but even know I got that conform is hard not to see her here and hear her voice but in time I will see her again about my problem I will face it head on with no shame

Diary

03:15 PM
Another weekend at home without going any where I cant believe this is my life not enough money always paying stuff and not enough for me to have fun always thinking about how I am going to go to work if I don’t have money at the end of the week always scratching and stretching the dollar however I am planning to move again to be able to saved at least some money in order to start going out again and take my kids out regularly and enjoy life again hopefully when I buy my truck and make even more money and also I am thinking to take a job and move to Texas and work with Schneider as a tanker and make at least 80 to 90,000 dollars and that’s pretty good but also drive over the road is something I like to and be able to see many places and meet different types of people with different background and many stories to know about the trucking business and be able to know the secret of know if is good to know if is good to own my truck and the goods or bad of owning my truck hopefully by the the time I decide to get it will be a good time and I be able to buy a nice truck

My story in this country

I am 30 years old and when I look back at the years past by I realize I never done anything major that you can tell someone or your kids your dad did this and they will proud to tell there friends about it but in fact is true I have done nothing major not even enjoy myself they way I really want to but I am hoping to change that pretty soon however looking bad at the past since I came from Cuba when I was 15 years old I only been two three places in my life first when I was living in Alabama most of the time the family trip was to go to Pensacola and play the lotto and buy food that’s pretty much it and them when we went to visit my cousin in saint Louis Missouri the trip was so boring nothing to see and when we got there the weather was nice but I dint like the place where they live we have fun with the family but them again on our way back the hole boring trip again and also back in Alabama the only thing I can say that help me wile I was there is the fact that I went to the school there at first I was scare but once you are inside the ropes is either go forward and fight or tried to find your way around and I am never scared of a challenge so I went forward it was really hard I dint know any English people talk to me and I was in limbo but I have that personality that never gives up and I don’t really pay attention to the people that don’t want you to succeed but the first year kind of hard but I meet some Cuban people that help me get through it I remember when I was in PE class and this story is one of the many I have when I was in school but this one is the one that suit me better cause like I say I don’t care about what the people think about me as long as I accept who I am nothing else matter and that’s what I teach to my kids to learn yea you can have friends but never let a friend tell you what to do to make you look cool or make you look cool what is wrong is wrong no matter what be who you are and whatever you do even if is wrong you did it because you want to not because some else tell you to do it and that’s always been me so getting back to my story at the PE class the teacher probably he dint like Latin people or maybe was in a bad mood that day he ask me something and in that class you have to buy the uniform in order to get the credits for that class you have to be in uniform and to my knowledge I tough he was asking me when I was going to buy the uniform so I told him tomorrow and he was looking at me like what the fuck are you talking about and he ask me something again and I told him tomorrow and people started laughing I dint care but then that’s when I meet one of my Cuban friend and he told me that he was saying that my class was change and I was like ok so I pick up my book bag and left but I was never embarrassed like most people will be or anything like that in order to learn something there are some speed bums on the road to success to tell you the true I never learn the language in school to tell you the true I don’t really speak English that well but I learn what It need to be done in order to understand anyone and be able to communicate with someone them thing starting to get bad for us in Alabama and it was time to move and we move to Florida  that was the place my dad was trying to avoid he never want to come to Florida from the first time since he was doing his paper work at the embassy in Cuba but we came to Florida actually me and my brother came first to my cousin house right away she help us get a job and we start working in a place where they make the trailer for the boats and we work there for awhile and we saved money and we rent our own apartment and them we bring the rest of the family to tell you the true I don’t really like Miami but I been learning to live it day by day I have my worst times in here and my good times I been able to see my sons raise my little one is getting funnier every moment my old one is even funnier so I have my share here in Miami I am hoping to change that as soon I get my own truck and be able to make even more money hopefully very soon      

The worst two week in October

I have the worst to week of my life in October since I came to this country I been having some bad months before even when the hole family was together but nothing compare to this last two weeks of October where I have little money, little food and almost being without water but I been pray that is not happened till I get paid I been stretching the little money I have to come to work and stretching it to eat at least something and I realize that is all my fault for bad spending and nothing saved but that is going to stop is not going to happened again I cant live my life like that I have responsibility to my kids and making sure they are supported and I have to do a better job with my financial situation so I don’t have to worry what is going to happened tomorrow and not make mistake and be wise about how I spend my money I know the situation is hard for anybody but is not anybody I worry about is me and the well being of my family in part of what happened to me is for being to nice to my family and help them in any way I can like a good member of the family and now I am in a bad situation for helping them and when I ask for help I get the same sorry excuses and I am getting tired of that from now on my priorities goes first above anyone this exclude my kids of course but when it came to family they better do it or there own unless I am in better situation I don’t mind help them but like I say unless I am in a better situation thank god is one more day till payday thing starting to look bright again and getting a little better now