Diary

03:15 PM
Another weekend at home without going any where I cant believe this is my life not enough money always paying stuff and not enough for me to have fun always thinking about how I am going to go to work if I don’t have money at the end of the week always scratching and stretching the dollar however I am planning to move again to be able to saved at least some money in order to start going out again and take my kids out regularly and enjoy life again hopefully when I buy my truck and make even more money and also I am thinking to take a job and move to Texas and work with Schneider as a tanker and make at least 80 to 90,000 dollars and that’s pretty good but also drive over the road is something I like to and be able to see many places and meet different types of people with different background and many stories to know about the trucking business and be able to know the secret of know if is good to know if is good to own my truck and the goods or bad of owning my truck hopefully by the the time I decide to get it will be a good time and I be able to buy a nice truck

My story in this country

I am 30 years old and when I look back at the years past by I realize I never done anything major that you can tell someone or your kids your dad did this and they will proud to tell there friends about it but in fact is true I have done nothing major not even enjoy myself they way I really want to but I am hoping to change that pretty soon however looking bad at the past since I came from Cuba when I was 15 years old I only been two three places in my life first when I was living in Alabama most of the time the family trip was to go to Pensacola and play the lotto and buy food that’s pretty much it and them when we went to visit my cousin in saint Louis Missouri the trip was so boring nothing to see and when we got there the weather was nice but I dint like the place where they live we have fun with the family but them again on our way back the hole boring trip again and also back in Alabama the only thing I can say that help me wile I was there is the fact that I went to the school there at first I was scare but once you are inside the ropes is either go forward and fight or tried to find your way around and I am never scared of a challenge so I went forward it was really hard I dint know any English people talk to me and I was in limbo but I have that personality that never gives up and I don’t really pay attention to the people that don’t want you to succeed but the first year kind of hard but I meet some Cuban people that help me get through it I remember when I was in PE class and this story is one of the many I have when I was in school but this one is the one that suit me better cause like I say I don’t care about what the people think about me as long as I accept who I am nothing else matter and that’s what I teach to my kids to learn yea you can have friends but never let a friend tell you what to do to make you look cool or make you look cool what is wrong is wrong no matter what be who you are and whatever you do even if is wrong you did it because you want to not because some else tell you to do it and that’s always been me so getting back to my story at the PE class the teacher probably he dint like Latin people or maybe was in a bad mood that day he ask me something and in that class you have to buy the uniform in order to get the credits for that class you have to be in uniform and to my knowledge I tough he was asking me when I was going to buy the uniform so I told him tomorrow and he was looking at me like what the fuck are you talking about and he ask me something again and I told him tomorrow and people started laughing I dint care but then that’s when I meet one of my Cuban friend and he told me that he was saying that my class was change and I was like ok so I pick up my book bag and left but I was never embarrassed like most people will be or anything like that in order to learn something there are some speed bums on the road to success to tell you the true I never learn the language in school to tell you the true I don’t really speak English that well but I learn what It need to be done in order to understand anyone and be able to communicate with someone them thing starting to get bad for us in Alabama and it was time to move and we move to Florida  that was the place my dad was trying to avoid he never want to come to Florida from the first time since he was doing his paper work at the embassy in Cuba but we came to Florida actually me and my brother came first to my cousin house right away she help us get a job and we start working in a place where they make the trailer for the boats and we work there for awhile and we saved money and we rent our own apartment and them we bring the rest of the family to tell you the true I don’t really like Miami but I been learning to live it day by day I have my worst times in here and my good times I been able to see my sons raise my little one is getting funnier every moment my old one is even funnier so I have my share here in Miami I am hoping to change that as soon I get my own truck and be able to make even more money hopefully very soon      

The worst two week in October

I have the worst to week of my life in October since I came to this country I been having some bad months before even when the hole family was together but nothing compare to this last two weeks of October where I have little money, little food and almost being without water but I been pray that is not happened till I get paid I been stretching the little money I have to come to work and stretching it to eat at least something and I realize that is all my fault for bad spending and nothing saved but that is going to stop is not going to happened again I cant live my life like that I have responsibility to my kids and making sure they are supported and I have to do a better job with my financial situation so I don’t have to worry what is going to happened tomorrow and not make mistake and be wise about how I spend my money I know the situation is hard for anybody but is not anybody I worry about is me and the well being of my family in part of what happened to me is for being to nice to my family and help them in any way I can like a good member of the family and now I am in a bad situation for helping them and when I ask for help I get the same sorry excuses and I am getting tired of that from now on my priorities goes first above anyone this exclude my kids of course but when it came to family they better do it or there own unless I am in better situation I don’t mind help them but like I say unless I am in a better situation thank god is one more day till payday thing starting to look bright again and getting a little better now  

diet blog

I gained more weight this time around then when I was really over weight back in Alabama and that need to stop as soon as possible I been trying every weight loss pill out there and yea the work for like a month or two and them I go back to my old way in part is my fault cause I have not really push my self to loss the weight like the time I did it and since that time I haven’t been able to take control of my body and I been frustrating with no way out to the problem and one way or another had to stop and I been making a lot of excuses and a lot of promises and I failed more than what I promises myself hopefully this time I stick to my promises and get back on track I been so frustrate with the way my body looks now and is like something inside me that holding me back I don’t want to use that as an excuses but that’s how I feel but no more starting this week I am going to start doing my walking after work five times a week and if for some reason I miss a day I have to do it double on the same day I want to at least loss some weight before the year end and feel at least better about me going in to next year with a good motivation to stay on track and get my priorities on top and stop worried about everyone else cause it seen that I worry to much and is not good for me it takes me away from my goals and I don’t want that I want to stay focus and really get back to the thing I like to do with out worried about any one else and I know I can do that if I stay on track I join a gym a couple month ago and that was my biggest mistake cause I only went a couple times I was embarrassed about the way I look and that’s not good my mother used to say that I should be happy with the way I am and if I want to get a little better than what I look I should work on it however I been tried and tried really hard but my biggest problem is that I don’t have a clue about dieting and I really don’t know how to know what is a good food from the bad and even know some food says on the label that is fat free or low on carbs or low fat sometimes is not what it seems but I need to do more research and really get on top of my die and get myself back on track of things I don’t want to write something here for everyone to see and not doing it this time is no more games this time is do or die and I don’t want to start the new year looking the way I am right now not anymore

I need to follow I couple of thing in order to stay in track this blog will be updated regularly so can every one see my progress a picture of what I am looking right now is coming soon hope everyone who read it leave me a comment and help me trough my journey thanks   

Be who you are no matter what others say

I create this blog so I can express myself in stuff that happened with my life and around but there one particular thing I like talk about and that is about being who you are and not let anyone or anything change the foundation that has always been the person in you and no matter what happened no one can make you believe different my point is I meet this girl long time ago probably 2 o 3 years ago our relation never went to the next level because we never give a chance to each other to make work but I still talking to her and now she is married and she give birth last week so I tell her to check out my blog and tell me what she think of what she saw the first thing that came out her words was you have three kids wow you never told me that that’s why our relation never went to the next level and all and I realize that no matter what I say is never good enough for her I say how you feeling never got any respond back so my real point to this is yes I have three kid two that our really mine and one that I consider mine also I raise that kid since she was 2 years old and there real father was never around father is not the one that create is the one that is there in good times and bad that what real fathers do and she is upset because she find out I write that I have three kids I found out that she was married after she did it and I was a little mad but not to the point to when she write me something not to respond back so I realize that I really enjoy the way I am when I was in Cuba in school I never let any one change who I am I was not popular but I never had any problem scoring girls and I did fall in love when I was in 8 grade I really love that girl but them again it was not my time to be together with her we never take the relation to the next level we end that never talking to each other again and even know we were at the same school we past in front out each other like there were no one there and I dint feel bad or anything like that I did end that with some one else and I was enjoin myself everything she see me with her so back to my point again never let any one change some times when you change who you are to please some one or tried to be different than what you really are never work out in fact is always for the worst don’t get me wrong people can change but when I am talking about change I don’t mean that if you were a bad person and want to be a good person you can do it I am not talking about that change I am talking about when people want to change your personality they tried to make you feel bad and you have to say stuff very carefully that you don’t want to offend any one my mother rip she had a personality like no other she was funny , happy person to be around but she had that one thing that people hated when something bother her she automatically let you know whether you like it or not she cannot stay with that inside and that’s one of the thing I really like about her she maybe saying what no one want to hear but she dint care cause that who she was and she was not changing her ways so I never was like her like that I do say what is on my mind but I may take me more time to say it than her but when I say it I don’t care how I say it or who I say it what is done is done I usually don’t regret at the end even know is not good but that’s how I am and I be like that till I died so for people out there that want to change there personality to impress or please some one you may tried but at the end everything goes back to the way it was before no matter how hard they want to tried take it for me I been there       

More of me

I love my life and everyone in it however some times I feel like I want to disappear out this world and start in a place new with none one to know me and start over with no mistakes that I have made over the years don’t get me wrong I love my kids they are the best thing that happened to me I a very long time but some times I feel like I am trapped in box and I cant get out and no matter what I do to get free I keep falling more and more I want to be a truck driver so I can at least be free even if it is for a moment and be able to see the country from one end to the other like I say don’t get me wrong as soon as I leave I am going to missed them like crazy but I have to do it other wise when all this is over I be saying to myself what happened all the goal the I have never realize because I was holding back and I don’t want to use that as excuse I want to be able to say I did it and there is not regret every one else is doing it why not me and also that is my family future of at least a better life and I am wasting to much time and every minute that pass by is an eternity and cant not be wasted with excuses life is such short some times that when we realize is all over and I don’t want to be one of those that never get to realize his dream no not me hopefully before the year end I be able to complete my training and get my cdl class a and be on the road at the start of next year and achieve my  goals and dream and provide to my family a better life with no more worries

Personal finances

Last night I was thinking that I need to get my financial problems taking care cause I cant leave my life like that with no money at the end of every week and scratching my head to figure out how I might going to go to work because I have little money for gas and I came to a conclusion that I been working in this country since I came from my country and I have none saved all I have is debt and that’s not good cause what will happened when I retired with what money I am counting on the social security money I don’t even know if that money will be there when I retire the way this country is going I don’t think I be having social security so last night I was really piss off and I say to myself enough is enough so when I wake up this morning I have an Idea of what I am going to do in order to get my financial back and I came up with a budget of what is going to be following from now on

1: since I leave far away from work is almost 40 minutes back in fort and the gas prices is not getting lower I am going to open a new bank account that I am going to be used for gas only and think I never fill the tank the hole way up adding $ 10 dollars for five days is going to saved me at least something

2: I have to stop eating lunch outside from now on I am going to start bring in my lunch from home and I am saving at least 5 to 6 dollars every time I eat lunch

3: since I have kids and every time I go shopping with them I end that buying a toy or a movie I decide that I only buy them one item one time every month and hopefully that saved me money to and also since I have the bj’s card I starting to buy the pampers and wipes from there so I don’t have to buy it twice in the same month

4: also I need to start stop spending money on impulse some times I see something I like and I say to myself since I am working why not but no more from now on I only buy something when I really need it

5: also the most important thing I have to start adding money to my saving account and not using it and let it grow

Hopefully if I do this I be able to have money and not worry about what is happened to me now and stay on track so when I retired I have a little peace of mind knowing that I have something saved and be able to enjoy my self